Finally, I’m living outside Spain. I have achieved my objective, but it has been a long way. It has taken me a lot of time and effort to reach this point in my life.
I have always known that I wanted, or more than wanted needed to spend some time outside my country. However, I wasn’t brave enough to just leave everything behind and try to build a new life in a far away country.
We build barriers around us looking for protection but those same barriers are the ones that most of the time end up limiting us.
During my life I have built a few of those barriers. Moving to Toronto wasn’t just an incredible opportunity for my professional development but also an internal fight versus my biggest fear, loneliness.
Loneliness is a quite common fear among people, it makes unhappy couples stay together, it makes people hide who they really are in a desperate try to be accepted, not to be let aside. I have always had one belief: the moment I get to know myself properly, the moment I get to accept who I am and be comfortable with it. I will be free.
Lately, though I feel that my English is limited and constrains me. It is like a cage that doesn’t allow me to be myself but just a sad shadow of who I really am.
Even though I have had these feelings, I’m starting to feel freer than I have ever been. The usual sense of having a big hole in my chest when I first entered my lonely apartment is starting to fade away and I’m starting to fill the confusion with hope and happiness.
I know that I still have a lot of things to learn about myself, but this small step has also been a big discovery. The worst monsters aren’t hiding in the closet, and once you find the courage to face them there isn’t better company than oneself.
I have always known that I wanted, or more than wanted needed to spend some time outside my country. However, I wasn’t brave enough to just leave everything behind and try to build a new life in a far away country.
We build barriers around us looking for protection but those same barriers are the ones that most of the time end up limiting us.
During my life I have built a few of those barriers. Moving to Toronto wasn’t just an incredible opportunity for my professional development but also an internal fight versus my biggest fear, loneliness.
Loneliness is a quite common fear among people, it makes unhappy couples stay together, it makes people hide who they really are in a desperate try to be accepted, not to be let aside. I have always had one belief: the moment I get to know myself properly, the moment I get to accept who I am and be comfortable with it. I will be free.
Lately, though I feel that my English is limited and constrains me. It is like a cage that doesn’t allow me to be myself but just a sad shadow of who I really am.
Even though I have had these feelings, I’m starting to feel freer than I have ever been. The usual sense of having a big hole in my chest when I first entered my lonely apartment is starting to fade away and I’m starting to fill the confusion with hope and happiness.
I know that I still have a lot of things to learn about myself, but this small step has also been a big discovery. The worst monsters aren’t hiding in the closet, and once you find the courage to face them there isn’t better company than oneself.
